Hingeless

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I wonder if it’s too late wish for someone to hold hands with, walking barefoot on the grass, gazing at the snowy Alps in the distance.

I wonder if it’s too childish to look for person to splash at the edges of the waves on a Mediterranean beach.

I wonder if I will ever be lay my head on someone’s lap, listening to the breeze on a meadow.

I wonder if it’s too far fetched to lock arms with someone, walk down an alley pondering on freshly baked pastries on a drizzly European evening.

I wonder if it’s too impractical to get into a shower with someone, without elbowing each other to annoyance.

I wonder if it’s too bogus to ask for a partner to steal mangoes with on a hot summer afternoon.

I wonder if it’s too dreamy to sit with someone, watching a train rip through the green plains, doppler-ing the monotony of an Oriental dusk.

I wonder if it’s too cliched to share a cigarette with someone just before dawn under an Oak tree, experiencing the twilight upside down.

I wonder if all the oak trees are lonely third wheels.

I wonder if I use too much tongue on the first kiss.

I wonder if it’s sexy to blush at a compliment.

I wonder if anyone I have ever dated misses me.

I wonder if it’s true that real wisdom materialises when one realises that they are no longer indispensable.

I wonder if I look like an animal hunkering over a bowl of soup that it doesn’t enjoy every dinner.

I wonder if chewing on a sugarcane is atrocious.

I wonder if I have become blind to the obviousness of life.

I wonder if I will regret posting these online.

I wonder if all my hobbies are too nerdy.

I wonder if I will always be a bad student.

I wonder if I will be able get old as gracefully as Henry Miller.

I wonder if life is just one big fucking chore.

I wonder if I’ll ever heal.

I wonder if my mediocrity will ever take me anywhere other than here.

I wonder if I would be able to remain in the light when the familiar collapses.

I wonder if I would be happier if I had never left.

I wonder if I have floated too far to anchor down.

I wonder if I have become completely hingeless.