Today I thought I would write a tiny story, a micro-fiction of sorts. But when I actually sat down to write it, I realised I had nothing. This was not always the case; I could write stories fairly easily. They were not good stories, but they were fiction. I have not sat down to write a story in more than twenty five years, at least. And clearly, that part of my mind-muscle has completely atrophied. Like that first scene in Kill Bill, where Uma Thurman was trying to move her toes, I am sitting here, trying to make that one part of my brain twitch. I wonder how much of my brain had atrophied, purely due to un-use, and how much of it will succumb in the future. A school teacher once told us to never let your mind sit and do nothing; probably one the most prescient advices I was given during my upbringing. I see this atrophy, slowly talking over, as I do more and more of my work, with LLMs. For a brief period of time, the idea was that as LLMs take over more and more of my the raw craft that I am used to, I move to a craft at a different level. Like a carpenter getting a CNC machine, for example. But unfortunately, moving on to another level of the same craft, is not happening, not yet at least. I have far more powerful tools to do things, that I consider the most trivial part of my craft, but before I could graduate to the more demanding parts of craft; But I am, for the lack of better word, made to use tools that make most of it quite trivial.
I think, most cognitive and behavioural science literature maybe would agree, is that raw craft has a deep and meaningful impact on our cognitive development. And if, someone like me, who has been practicing their craft, for more than a decade, can experience mind-atrophy like this, a mature mind, if I say so myself; what would happen to the developing minds. But then again, this argument has existed since the 19th century. In some aspects, it is the same argument. So I stop my case before I say something that can be quoted fifty years from now, saying how the luddites were wrong! And to be perfectly honest, I do not identity with a luddite, not entirely. But I do worry about the soul of things that we do. Is this me getting old? Is this what old age looks like, worrying?
I suppose it is time for me to re-read to the _Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. And take in its metaphysical discussion about quality; the soul of things around us, if I may use that word. I have to admit, I still have not managed to interpret my first reading of the book; mostly because the most interesting part of the book, for me is how the protagonist is afraid that his philosophical dilemma borderline driving him insane. There are descriptions of a ghost motorbike at night and a half amended relationship with his son. It is a beautiful book on all accounts. But I did not take the time to take in the metaphysics. Maybe, if I can make reading not obsolete in my life, I will give it another shot.